On Being scared, and on giving

In various conversations with Bitty we've discussed things we are scared of. As a parent there are so many times I want to just let her hide under the covers with me, away from the scary world and protect her. But as I love her, I see her courageous spirit rising up and this belief in herself that she can face the very things she is afraid of. In my love for her, I want to help her face those things, because I know that one by one as she is strengthened and the very things that scare her and challenge her are forming her into her full potential. So I encourage her to walk right into those things. But not alone. Her daddy or I hold her hand and walk with her until she is ready to step out freely. And if she turns back and looks at me scared, then I'll grab her hand again and stand with her until she's ready.

I feel much like that in this adoption and in the fundraising to bring Pearl home. I am stepping into the unknown,but my Father is holding my hand.

If He says I am His, and He will take care of me then I'll take Him at His word. His unfailing word. And I'll trust Him to provide.

For those of you who have wondered our estimated cost to bring Pearl home from Ethiopia is about $40,000.00 (which includes taking Bitty with us.) Recently we have felt like God has called us to give proceeds from The Beloved Collection of Jewelry and Art away to other families pursuing adoption. To give to them that they may know how loved they are, that He will provide for them. So,joyfully we just today have given all the proceeds from the Open House to an amazing family bringing their own baby home. Because of this several people have said, "Oh great, so you're raised all your funds for your adoption?!" That is actually not the case. We still have a ways to go before our adoption is funded. We are giving proceeds away simply because He asked us to, I am scared, but He is holding my hand. I'm stepping out in faith because I am trusting Him to provide for us and fill our cup. Let me explain.....

It is never about what we have to give away, or who we need to be...But always about what He has put in us to share. I have to literally picture a glass full of water, and whatever spills over, the overflow can run into someone else's cup. But me loving others, loving my husband, my family, my friends is also about having my cup full. God created me, created you in a way to spill over to others. We each have gifts that bless those around us, but in His goodness I really believe He fills us up first. First we get to be loved by Him. He calls us His Beloved, and in that tells us to Be Loved. When we receive from Him, and are filled, only He doesn't stop there. He keeps pouring out His love on us, when that love spills out to others they are blessed in a way that is only from Him. It is never about what I can give them. These proceeds from jewelry or art have nothing to do with me. I am a vessel, when His goodness spills out, it is His goodness not mine. What an honor that I get to be that vessel in anyway, that I get to behold His goodness.

When I can remember to give, to mother or love out of the overflow it comes easy. It is Him and not me. I am a child first, my job is to be extravagantly loved by Him. When that happens, His goodness can spill over freely, I am not as weary in the tasks of each day, His grace trumps my imperfect love for others. He spills over and every time I'm amazed.

Today I am His daughter, because I am receiving, I am giving.

Moving forward we are asking God how He wants us to give to other adoptions, we plan to have more shows for jewlery and art, and we plan to keep giving back. We will continue fundraising to bring Pearl home, if you want to donate to our fund or purchase art or jewelry as a part of loving our Pearl home, we would be honored. You can click on the donate button on the right of our blog or you can shop our Facebook page here. Also, if you are or if you know someone fundraising for their adoption we would love to know about it and pray about how we might can help!

Constant.

Earlier this week we got our December update...There was no movement this month, we are still #16. My initial thoughts were simple No. Movement. Still. Here. After my pity party...I decided He must still have promises for me in Psalm 16. Well promises everywhere actually, but I keep it simple when I'm overwhelmed. Here are the promises I pulled out, and the truths I am clinging to. Psalm 16 The Lord—Our Safe Place in Life and Covering vs. 2 Keep me, O God, for I am safe in You. I said to the Lord, “You are my Lord. All the good things I have come from You.” As for those in the land who belong to You, they are the great ones in whom is all my joy. I am safe in Him. She is safe in Him. All good things I have, all good things I will have come from Him. vs. 5 The Lord is all that I am to receive, and my cup. My future is in Your hands. He is all that I am to receive, meaning my job in this waiting is to be His daughter, to praise my King and allow Him to fill my cup. He fills to overflow. I get to receive Him, to be extravagantly loved by Him. He's got this. vs. 6 The land given to me is good. Yes, my share is beautiful to me. The promise, the beauty is coming in our daughter yes, But its here now in Him. In who He is. vs. 7 I will give honor and thanks to the Lord, Who has told me what to do. Yes, even at night my mind teaches me. Ok this one just made me laugh. Any one who has ever taken a leap of faith based on what they felt lead by the Lord to do, has probably said "I think I made it up". God smiled at me here and reminded me He told us what to do. He told us to go get Pearl. And even better, He goes before us. vs. 11 You will show me the way of life. Being with You is to be full of joy. In Your right hand there is happiness forever. Being with Him is to be full of joy. Joy is who He is. He is mine. Joy is mine. Boom. The verse that stuck out the most... vs. 8 I have placed the Lord always in front of me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be moved. And so my heart is glad. My soul is full of joy. My body also will rest without fear. I like to think that the Holy Spirit whispered ("no pun intended" after I read 'I will not be moved') That probably didn't happen, but don't ruin that for me, it made me smile. I'm learning that what appears to be happening here on this earth has very little to do with what God might actually be doing. Me not moving, me standing firm on His promises is in the midst of Him moving and aligning people and places to create His perfect will. He never sleeps, He is always moving on our behalf. Strength rises as we wait upon the Lord. Upon Him, Hoping IN Him. What I'm doing now is 'placing the Lord always in front of me'. I once heard a quote that said something like "You can't afford to have a thought in your head (about who you are/about your circumstances, etc) that God doesn't have about you". I'm keeping the Hope of Him always in front of me. When I looked away from my circumstances, from any disappointments, longings, and saw Him. I remembered. I cannot contain, or understand the vast way He loves me. I cannot contain, or understand the vast way he Loves Pearl! I had to remember that my circumstances, are no reflection of His love for me. If a season changes, if a season stays the same His provision, His love is constant. No matter how I feel, or respond to my circumstance, it doesn't change His love for me or who He is. I cannot mess up His love for me. Thank you Jesus! We are #16, which is a miracle, we have a baby in Africa, which is miracle. God is good, He's got this. I am choosing to let my heart be glad, my spirit full of joy. My dearest friend told me this week "God is more passionate about your adoption that you are". What a gift that truth is. So I'm staying there today. Keeping Him in front of me.